Facebook Cited In One Third of Divorce Cases, Survey Shows

The phenomenon has grown into cliché: A marriage long grown stale through rote gestures and the drudgery of childrearing. An old flame pops up on Facebook. Innocent flirting ensues. Next thing you know, you’ve got an STD test in one hand and divorce papers in the other. What happened?

• Facebook cited as a factor in one third of UK divorces last year
• No surprise to divorce lawyers in the U.S.
  
• Social media turns up as evidence in front of judge

Online Friendship Gone Awry

A new survey by UK-based site Divorce-Online reported that Facebook played a role in one in three divorces in 2011 in the island nation.

The 2009 Divorce-Online survey turned up 20 percent, so the number appears to only be growing. A figure widely circulated in news reports last year suggested that Facebook played a role in one in five divorces here in the States.

Given the ever-expanding role social media plays in the way we communicate, it’s no surprise it should be a common factor in divorce. “I hear it all the time,” says Brent Rose, a partner at Orsini and Rose Law Firm in Florida. “Most divorce lawyers know that Facebook is a contributor to their caseloads. It’s not at all uncommon for a client to tell you that the reason for the divorce is that a spouse has connected with an ‘old flame’ or a ‘first love from high school’ through Facebook.”

“In fact,” Rose says, “I’ve had divorcing people tell me they’ve separated because a spouse was on Facebook all the time, even though there wasn’t any suspected online cheating.”

The survey listed the top three reasons Facebook came up in divorce petitions (Surprise! High school boyfriend doesn’t make the list):

• Inappropriate messages to members of the opposite sex.
• Separated spouses posting nasty comments about each other.
• Facebook friends reporting spouse’s behavior.

About Last Night . . .

Obtaining a divorce isn’t as simple as packing up your things and moving into your old boyfriend’s bachelor pad. First, you need to agree with your spouse on how to divide up property and children—and if you can’t come to agreement, then let a judge sort things out. That’s where your Facebook history can really come back to haunt you.

“Facebook pages and postings are pretty commonly used as evidence in divorce cases,” Rose says. “People use Facebook as an excuse to tell the world about their sins. They talk about the people they are having affairs with, the drugs they’re doing, the nights where they’ve partied all night. Or they’ll post photos of themselves drunk with their young kids in the background.”

Not the kind of photos you want to bring before the court, but once they’re loose on the Internet, they’re fair game. “Of course, these postings and photos get back to the spouse through a mutual friend, and they end up in front of a judge in a custody hearing,” Rose says. “In fact, in my experience, it’s becoming rare to see a custody trial without Facebook printouts being offered as evidence.”

Don’t Shoot the Messenger

A survey last year by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found 81 percent of divorce attorneys reporting social media as a growing source of evidence in divorce cases, including 66 percent of those surveyed claiming Facebook was the primary source of social media evidence.

“Going through a divorce always results in heightened levels of personal scrutiny. If you publicly post any contradictions to previously made statements and promises, an estranged spouse will certainly be one of the first people to notice and make use of that evidence,” said Marlene Eskind Moses, former president of the AAML. “As everyone continues to share more and more aspects of their lives on social networking sites, they leave themselves open to much greater examinations of both their public and private lives in these sensitive situations.”

A Facebook spokesperson panned the reports of the company’s role in divorce in a Guardian article last year, writing, “It’s ridiculous to suggest that Facebook leads to divorce. Whether you’re breaking up or just getting together, Facebook is just a way to communicate, like letters, phone calls and emails. Facebook doesn’t cause divorces, people do.”